Gary Shteyngart is Funny

Gary Shteyngart writes books. He is from Russia. His latest book is called Super Sad True Love Story. I haven't read it, though I did read his previous book, Absurdistan. I liked that one and I think I would like the new one. The following book trailers for Super Sad True Love Story don't elucidate much about the content of the book. They do, however, show how funny Sheyngart is.




Hope you liked it.

A New Website...

I found a new website. It is called typetrigger.

So, every six hours a new trigger word or phrase is given (say "dog collar" or "remaining nameless") and then you (or someone else) write up to 300 words from it. This can be shared with no-one, only members or everyone. You pick.

I have done two so far. It's nice to be able to just write a little, without any express impressive purpose. Try it out yourself or tell someone about it.

Writing 50,000 Words in a Month

So, for the month of November, I wrote. I wrote a lot. I wrote about 55,000 words in total. The event was the National Novel Writing Month, or for those in the know, NaNoWriMo. 50,000 words in a month (30 days) equals out to about 1,667 words a day on average. This means about an hour to two a day for a month. I must say, it was difficult. At first. But, after doing it for awhile and foregoing social events, I felt inspired by my own abilities and I wrote with relish most days following the initial ten or so. This was what I was engaged in while I was leaving this blog to disuse. So, now I have spent the day logging posts for the possible enjoyment of my small crowd. The novel in question is a ramshackle affair whose parts may be stronger than its whole. A rubric of ideas from which I may pull, if you will. I will share a small section and cease my bloggish rambling.

"The bus was an experience which truly showed the heart of the city and which varied depending on the part of the city the bus was in. In this section, the University District to Ballard, it tended to be quiet weirdos, loud weirdos, totally middle of the road new generation business men (who read the Seattle Times and tried not to look uncomfortable in their suits), or students. His experience on the bus was mostly one of scholarship, or rather he would read vigorously, shutting out the world around him and occasionally peeking his head out of the words to check his location. To be able to read on a moving vehicle, he had had to train himself, tune certain parts of his brain into not reacting to the movement of the bus and rather focusing on the movement of the eyes across the landscape of words. He was very pleased with himself whenever he thought of it. The bus allowed certain opportunities such as this which were not an option on the bike. This made him feel less guilty about leaving his spry little bike hiding in the bike room, gathering dust. He read and sometimes wrote. When he wrote he would look out in front of him into the infinite cave of thought, or observe his neighbors for inspiration. At this moment, on this day of his riding, just in front of him, in the seat before him, were two young men, students it seemed, who thought everything was funny and whose laughs were an awkward ordeal that couldn’t hide their own uncomfortableness with their own man bodies and man voices and man to man relationships.
One of the two man-boys was a small giant with knobby sausage fingers, whose nails looked like small square plates pushed deep into putty. These fingers were the outlet of his insecurities and his uncomfortableness. He grabbed the purple plastic handle on the seat in front of him like he was grabbing the ears of a small child, big putty hands on each side of the thing, and he began to thumb at the middle for no reason at all, his oily thumb tips massaging the hard plastic. He would do this and also use his thumb-looking fore fingers to roughly stroke the thing with outward motions. The third and grossest of the activities with this poor plastic handle was a right handed twisting and stroking, some unconscious masturbatory gesture he hadn’t yet excelled from expressing. Henry’s face twisted up in disgust. This was not the morning image that he wanted. He couldn’t stop watching though. The man-boy couldn’t stop molesting the thing either, like there was still some un-oiled surfaces he had to cover with the sick ritualistic gestures of a pastor with his altar boy. Henry began to express his feelings of disgust on the page, describing the display very much similarly as this narrator has done above, his script jarred often by the bumps.
When he was reading on the bus, he always got the feeling like something was going on that he needed to see, some scenery or event, something he couldn’t see just anytime. He could have gone without the man-boy event. But, when he was not reading, just staring, and nothing happened, as it was apt to, he felt as though he should be productive and read. He couldn’t win, even with himself. There were always at least two books to read, and two notebooks in which to write. Besides that he kept a camera. He liked to take pictures and didn’t care if they turned out to be anything or spent an eternity catching byte dust on his computer. The act itself was enjoyable. He knew nothing about framing, technically, or really what many of the settings did. He just took the pictures how he thought they looked good. It wasn’t an analogue for experience though as it is for many these days, the Asian tourists and the Hipsters in particular. He felt that they never actually lived life but rather made proof of a life lived. They weren’t there for any of it, personally, just their human forms. There were all the Asian tourists with their factory smiles giving the V for Victory sign with their hands in every single shot, waiting until they could get home and put it on their social networking site. The Hipsters as well just made evidence of life in order for it to be posted online, going further though into that sickly realm of irony. The ironic mustaches and poses, the ironic mimicry of Asian tourists even possibly, creating some facsimile of reality that seemed labyrinthine and inescapable."

I must say that I have done no editing and would be so very fine with anyone telling me if something sounded weird or was just outright wrong. It is very possible that both things have occurred, possibly simultaneously. Anyway, that's all I got. Plus this cartoon which identifies my situation near perfectly:

Everyone Should Read Banned Books!

In Springfield, MO, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s Slaughterhouse Five was recently pulled from high school curricula because of the opinion of one man. This man is a professor at Missouri State University, my alma mater. He is part of education, ladies and gentlemen. Scary. He believes it is "filthy," the book that is. As well as others. Here is the link to the story in Springfield's "newspaper." And here is a good analysis of the action. The following is from the Vonnegut book in question. Beautiful, smart, peaceful. And apparently part of a larger more evil and pornographic work, if you want to believe a guy named Scroggins.

"The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The containers were stored nearly in racks. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody as good as new.

When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the rack and shipped back to the United States, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous content into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anyone ever again.

The American fliers turned in their uniforms, became high school kids. And Hitler turned into a baby, Billy Pilgrim supposed. That wasn't in the movie. Billy was extrapolating. Everybody turned into a baby, and all humanity, without exception, conspired biologically to produce two perfect people named Adam and Eve, he supposed."

Read GO SEE ART Post!

I just posted on the GO SEE ART blog about Banned Books Week. Go read it!

Here is the poster for it, with robots!

Currently Reading: Love in the Time of Cholera

Love in the Time of Cholera is one of the two most well-known books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and one of the most beloved books of literature in all the world. This Nobel Prize-winning novelist's prose sings. He is a reason for the popularization of the gorgeous literary style of magical realism. The other novel for which he is so well-known is One Hundred Years of Solitude. That book may be my favorite of all-time, sitting close to Milan Kundera's Immortality and Philip K. Dick's The Man in the High Castle (let's stick George Orwell's 1984 in there while we're at it). I just wanted to share a clump of prose from the early pages of the book that I thought were beautiful and important, as well as indicative of Marquez' prose.

"Along the rough cobbled streets that had served so well in surprise attacks and buccaneer landings, weeds hung from the balconies and opened cracks in the whitewashed walls of even the best-kept mansions, and the only signs of life at two o'clock in the afternoon were languid piano exercises played in the dim light of siesta. Indoors, in the cool bedrooms saturated with incense, women protected themselves from the sun as if it were a shameful infection, and even at early Mass they hid their faces in their mantillas. Their love affairs were slow and difficult and were often disturbed by sinister omens, and life seemed interminable. At nightfall, at the oppressive moment of transition, a storm of carnivorous mosquitoes rose out of the swamps, and a tender breath of human shit, warm and sad, stirred the certainty of death in the depths of one's soul"

It is also important to note that this English translation of this Spanish text is made possible by the ever-important translator of Latin American literature, Edith Grossman. Also, this is a mantilla.

Infinite Jest, Finished

Yes, big as a baby, though denser and more verbose, and I finished it. For my first time. I know that there is a second and even possibly a third time in store for me, somewhere in the future, a year past or more. I read every one of the one-thousand-seventy-nine pages (this including copious endnotes, of course) and was delighted and appalled and confused and suffering and entrenched and invested and in love throughout, in turns.

I looked everyday (nearly) at a web page which defined and explained words and acronyms and references which I hadn't the personal latent knowledge to know myself. It helped immensely and I learned a great deal of words, many of which I have still retained I hope. Post Jest I am looking at sites which dissect and analyze bits and pieces of the narrative which I may not have gleaned from the first go around. There is a lot of conjecture, but it is satisfying. It keeps me within the book I was reluctant to finish, to put down to sit there as another inert and mysterious object, a thick monolithic thing of weight. I suggest it to anyone with patience and a certain brand of literary commitment. Don't look at other books during this time. It needs your attention. Also, look to online resources and avoid spoilers. Maybe join the mailing list, like I did, and then observe or interact with the thoughtful and measured obsession that is DFW (also known as David Foster Wallace).

A website that is currently sitting on one of my Firefox tabs, running in the background, is The Howling Fantods. This specific link goes to the IJ Notes and Speculations page which I am now reading from time to time to extend my experience. It has spoilers, so if you haven't read it and want to, click to the main page. I was lucky enough to be linked on that page for my previous Infinite Jest post, in which I also linked The Howling Fantods. Another site I suggest, and have already, which is useful throughout the book is the David Foster Wallace Wiki. Super site for a supplemental. Anyway, I just wanted to publicly congratulate myself on this accomplishment. Tell me if you have read it or if I have convinced you to start it yourself. I will conclude this post with a small segment from the book which I loved the language of, so much so that I remembered the page number, which number I will not divulge.

"Then the number of times I would have to repeat the same processes, day after day, in all kinds of light, until I graduated and moved away and then began the same exhausting process of exit and return in some dormitory at some tennis-power university somewhere. Maybe the worst part of the cognitions involved the incredible volume of food I was going to have to consume over the rest of my life. Meal after meal, plus snacks. Day after day after day. Experiencing this food in toto. Just the thought of the meat alone. One megagram? Two megagrams? I experienced, vividly, the image of a broad cool well-lit room piled floor to ceiling with nothing but the lightly breaded chicken fillets I was going to consume over the next sixty years. The number of fowl vivisected for a lifetime's meat. The amount of hydrochloric acid and bilirubin and glucose and glycogen and gluconol produced and absorbed and produced in my body. And another, dimmer room, filled with the rising mass of the excrement I'd produce, the room's double-locked steel door gradually bowing outward with the mounting pressure....I had to put my hand out against the wall and stand there hunched until the worst of it passed. I watched the floor dry."

Thanks for listening.

GO SEE ART

Just posted over at GO SEE ART about fiction in The New Yorker. Go have a look:

goseeart.blogspot.com

Thanks.

Poetry, Paragraphically Formed

Here is poetry made from the gray folds of my own mind.

A Sycamore Lives Inside of Me

A sycamore lives inside of me. I trim my leaves daily. Sometimes, I chew them off. Like hangnails. I know it symbolizes growth. It is growth. But who else must deal this way. Never have I peeked a sprout on someone else’s person. Not like the man on the bus who shuddered at the foliage spitting unkindly from my ear. I stopped drinking water for a week, traveled only at night. It stopped its punching youngness, that spurting spirit of youth. But I became listless, lonely and dry as bone. We live together, and so we die.

And so I traveled to the countryside. And so I planted my feet in rich soil. And so I stopped caring and became a forest. At least I am not alone.

Now

I remember the fluorescent glow of inside employment, scraping the concrete with razorblades and sweeping up after myself. I remember the day blinking out before I came to glimpse it, a four o’clock sunset and sleep, so much sleep. I remember drinking too much and loving it and still loving it now, living what fraction of life is left like a life worth living, not saving for an immutable immeasurable future, a thing spaced off and far away and never ever real, merely a penumbra of hope that more resembles discontent than progress. Blink out the unfolding of calendar reveries, you’ll die tomorrow! Everything begins and ends right here.

Somewhere Upward

Stocking shelves, blankly staring, my mind somewhere upward of me, in concrete, parking structure, working ever upward, trying for sky, wisp of cloud, my hands are functioning, muscle memory, I notice I am stocking toast tongs, yes, tongs for toast, and in noticing this I feel the dread, feel the insistence of the inevitable apocalypse, I feel we’re closer than ever before, and no shit, everyone’s scared but it’s a latent fear, living somewhere under our ribcages, behind our hearts, a dull ache, it’s in the toast tongs, the teabag squeezers, yes, there is teabag squeezers, the little things, the knowledge and image that people are delicately pulling toast with stylish bamboo tongs or are afraid to squeeze out their teabags with fingertips or spoon, too elegant, and I think this world is too fragile and the monkey in us is both too present and entirely gone, and I’ve got a goddamned hangnail and I feel my mind will never successfully navigate those halls of cars, never find the sweet air of sky.

by Sean Flannigan

Infinite Jest, Rightly Named

A couple months ago I decided to pick up a mammoth book that had been sitting on a bookshelf, weighing down a bookshelf, in my apartment, to commit myself to this book fully, as full commitment is required before taking on such a task. This book, as mentioned in this post's title, is Infinite Jest (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_Jest) by the late great David Foster Wallace or, more intimately, DFW. And I have enjoyed it greatly ever since. For the most part. The beginnings were rocky for me as it takes place in a world set apart from our own, although based on our own. A world in which there is something called the O.N.A.N. (supposedly the Organization of North American Nations), Anti-O.N.A.N. Quebecois groups, a Great Convexity/Concavity (a great swath of land between Canada and the U.S. occupied by waste, both nuclear and domestic, which both sides try to claim is the other's, with the name variation dependent on which side one lives on), and years that are no longer numeral but nominal and subsidized (i.e. instead of 1998, Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment or Year of the Tuck's Medicated Pad) among other things. To synthesize these and many many more pieces of information into an understandable whole was difficult, as the writing, though engaging, is dense and it took about two hundred of the thousand pages to grasp the world of IJ. He also uses a variety of obscure words and numerous endnotes, with further endnotes and footnotes attached sometimes to the original endnotes. There is a website, I think there are many actually, that helps guide one through the reading of Infinite Jest, in which each page is broken down with definitions of words and explanations of phrases or dialectical difficulties (i.e. the Brogue monologue at an AA meeting). It helps and I have come to see this book as an education. I am learning words and ideas which I didn't know before. There is homework.

Here is an image of the book that I will insert to break up the text of this post:

Ever since I began reading this monolithic book, many other people I know or have met have also starting reading David Foster Wallace works. I am on a mailing list now. I am part of the cult. We have a secret handshake. He is dead, but alive in this silent network. I was outside during my lunch some days ago, with my book open, seemingly unidentifiable, enjoying the sun, when a man walked by, stopped and came back to ask me if I was reading IJ. We conversed and he confessed to being on page 108 very specifically, and we nodded to each other knowingly, holding special DFW knowledge. He walked away, stopped and turned, yelling something back to me. I couldn't hear him. He walked back to me and told me cryptically about the mailing list and how to find it. Now, I am on the mailing list. Involved in the cult, happily.

I am now on page 788 myself. Seven hundred and eighty eight Biblically-thin pages crammed to the margins with small text. And this doesn't even include the endnotes I have tackled. Even smaller text. I do love it though. Thinking about the book excites me. A central character in the book is something referred to throughout variably as "The Entertainment" or "samizdat." It is a weapon of sorts. It is a film that is so addictive to watch that the viewer no longer wants anything but to watch it, and invariably they, the viewer, ends up dying from malnutrition or thirst or destruction of self (an act referred to in the book as obliteration of "one's own map" or their own personal "cartography"). This idea of the "entertainment" is so original and refreshing, as a literary idea, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it lately.

Wallace has an amazing voice throughout. It is one of total experience and depth. The novel's meat is primarily divided between characters at the hilltopped Enfield Tennis Academy (a place of grooming teenagers to go to "The Show," i.e. professional tennis) and those of the Ennet House Drug and Alcohol Recovery House which sits at the bottom of said hill in Enfield, MA, a suburb of Boston. Wallace's ability to dive into the psychological minutiae of both the teenagers of the tennis academy and the dark and addicted husks of people at the Ennet House was surprising and emotional, involving a large amount of personal investment. He seems to know so well the internal world of addiction, depression and abuse, as well as the whole realm of competitive tennis, mentally and technically. There are so many intricately laid out literary parallels between storylines of the separate locations and people, which gives the reader a seeming direct connection between themselves and the narrator, a little wink and nudge from the fifth wall where the audience and the writer both sit. There are numerous articles and message boards and dissertations and mailing lists that all deal with these intricacies and themes. They are too numerous to even begin to deal with inside of this post. The story is too vast to even outline in this post. I am doing injustice to it by even discussing only this much.

I would highly suggest this book, with a caveat. If one is interested in taking on such an adventure as this, they should first read some of DFW's essays and short stories (for David Lynch fans, read "David Lynch Keeps His Head" from A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again). This will allow one to get an idea of his writing style and his predilection for foot- and endnotes. He was a genius, as judged by the MacArthur Fellowship in 1997. One shouldn't feel bad about having to look up some words, but know that one is probably going to have to look up those words. Think of it as learning. Remember doing that? Crosswords aren't enough, despite what you think. Sudoku, the same. Then, seeing that you have a liking for his writing and his incisiveness and his big words and his sort of comedy, you should find resources for support during the reading. I will link to some at the end. Then, after reading it, and hopefully enjoying it, tell me about it. I would love to hear from a fellow cultist.

Resources:
http://infinitejest.wallacewiki.com/david-foster-wallace/index.php?title=Main_Page
http://www.thehowlingfantods.com/inf.htm
http://infinitesummer.org/

David Foster Wallace himself had depression issues and, after bad luck with various anti-depressants, ended up "eliminating his own map." He hung himself on September 12th, 2008. RIP DFW.

NPR contest

A few days ago I submitted a little (and I mean little) story for an NPR contest. Three-Minute Fiction, I think it is called. Six hundred words or less. Including the words "plant," "button," "fly" and "trick." It was novelist Ann Patchett's (writer of Bel Canto) as the judge. I am not sure that it will see the light of public radio day, but this is the one that I put in, with the editorial help of Ms. Anne Petty:

Flight

Where emotion was concerned, the man was a plant. He stared at things as though they had no innate emotional condition within him. He could name them off like anything else. This is my mother's handkerchief. This is my father's wristwatch. But, they were like other people's parent's things. He walked along heavily, enumerating not the quantity of beauty within the trees' myriad blooms with their myriad colors, but only the things he needed to do that day in order to live. These things were: drink three cups of water, full to the brim; eat four square meals; do twenty push-ups and twenty pull-ups (on a bar he bought at the drug store because it was on sale and he felt that exercise was important based on the facts) which he did not for the sake of flattering himself in the mirror or attracting women he might only have casual sex with (which he didn't do), but because he felt exercise was important based on the facts; cross the street if he saw anyone smoking cigarettes to avoid second-hand smoke; avert eyes from intimidating looking people which might cause harm upon him; wear sunglasses to preserve his eyes; have a child to carry on his name (this was one thing which he hadn't done much legwork on achieving seeing that he had little to no social skills); sleep seven hours and forty-five minutes because eight made him feel tired the whole day and seven did the same .... And this list went on in his head while he stared forward. This man has little to no social skills, and even has trouble purchasing gum from the corner store. He can't form sentences and is only really relieved when it is a foreigner taking the money he puts on the counter, even though foreigners also make him nervous. He felt he had many nameless diseases and disorders, all of which racked him with a vague dread that almost approached emotion yet not in any substantial or winning way. He stayed in his apartment most the time and worked from home. He ate nuts and fruit and chicken and wheat bread. These are things that were supposedly good for you. He didn't keep chocolate bars or ice cream. He didn't eat out of desire but only to create a working person and stop the aching that sometimes pained his gut. Sometimes, without his approval, his dreams would bring him to the skies, that is, he would fly. Once he dreamed he flew across America, seeing the delineated states as on maps pasted on high school geography walls, skimming over the topography of that U.S. map, seeing the sites that made America famous. That is to say: the Grand Canyon, the Twin Towers before they were exploded, Mount Rushmore, the hills of San Francisco, the ocean to each side, the sunsets from all angles the country afforded in the late Spring. In his dreams he felt a rushing uncomfortable strain on his chest, stomach and mind. Emotion. He wanted. He wanted to do stupid things like tear his shirt off, not caring about the falling buttons, and make love to a woman or climb a mountain and get a little hurt in the process. He wanted to be a kid and walk the neighborhood with other kids yelling, "trick or treat!" and smiling for no good reason. He wished, in these dreams, to be reckless, and was, in his dreams. Then he would wake up and enumerate the ways that he could stay alive that day, dreamless and careful and very very logical. 

Just under six hundred words and initially realized on 750words.com. It is what it is.